Graveside Conversations
by Yaoi Scribe
Summary: A fic dedicated to the memory of my two dearest male friends who died a year ago. It is not quite the morose story I was planning but it works as therapy. Warnings include raunchy language and innuendos. Enjoy.


Author's note: I know I have stories to work on but it being October and all, my heart is not in the mood for such things. It's now been one year since I lost Joseph and Caleb. I still cannot stand the realization that such people exist who think that it is okay to kill someone based on their orientation. Therefore, I have yet ANOTHER fic dedicated to the memory of two of the most important men in my life. The wounds have not healed and I don't think they ever will. However, this is a bit less morose than I expected and I could continue it if people like it enough. I will warn you right now that it is rated for a reason and I will NOT deal with flames from idiots who don't heed my warnings. This is written as a way for me to deal with the year anniversary of my best friends' deaths and is not to be taken seriously at all. With that said, I hope it is up to my usual standards and that you enjoy. I know I am enjoying writing it. I also own no one from underworld…so don't sue!

Graveside Conversations

She stares at the other side of the room and wonders why the hell this was happening now. The stupid war that had raged between their species was finally drawing to a close though she has a feeling that the hatred between both groups wasn't going to follow Viktor and Amelia to the grave. Marcus had made it quite clear to all that the Lycans were NOT to be hunted. Singe had managed to come up with a way to revert William back to his human form and the male was still unconscious. The first vampire has yet to leave his side. "Isn't this wonderful?" Erica asks from beside her, "This bloody war is finally ending."

"Yes, wonderful," Natasha mutters sounding hardly appeased at this.

"What is wrong with you?" the blond demands.

"Leave her alone!" Nathaniel snaps almost immediately. He has no intention of dealing with the brunette losing her temper with Erica. He knows why she is so angry and upset and doesn't blame her though he still of the mind that both men were better off dead. He would never let Natasha hear that though. He wasn't about to get into a battle he knows he'd lose with the hazel-brown eyed vampire. Selene didn't even like crossing her and that was saying something.

"So we are to play nice with the big, bad wolves?" Natasha asks Lucian. The male looks at her with an almost aggravated expression.

"Simply put, yes, you are to play nicely."

"Then tell your wolves the same," she states before standing up, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than sit around here having staring contests with people who have forgotten simple hygiene."

"NATASHA!" Kraven and Selene chorus and then glare at each other.

"What?" she asks irritably looking back at them.

"You need to be respectful to your Lycan comrades," Kraven tells her though he doesn't stop glaring at Selene who is in Michael's lap.

"I do respect them. I still think they need to remember to bathe regularly."

A deep growl makes her turn to look at Raze. She stares at him calmly. "I know, I know, you didn't have a lot of options for keeping yourselves groomed but you do now so I suggest you take full advantage of that and maybe then you'll get laid."

"NATASHA!" Kraven shrieks.

"Regent, shut up," Raze snaps at him, "She wasn't talking to YOU!"

"He can't even get laid while clean," Natasha retorts. The dark skinned male actually snickers at that. "I am serious…but then that may be due to his less than scrupulous actions and cowardly behavior."

"Natasha, go and see your friends' graves and leave the rest of us in peace!" Kraven snaps.

"Oh, that's where you're going?" Raze asks.

Natasha's countenance goes from playful to serious and sad in an instant. "You could be nicer," she says to Kraven.

"They're dead, Natasha, deal with it."

A look of rage appears in her eyes and she has her guns pointed at him before she knows she's done it. "Push me, Regent, I dare you," she seethes.

"Put the guns down, little girl, I'd hate to have you executed for something so stupid."

"Do you want to try and execute me, Regent? I doubt you'll succeed. Better adversaries than you have attempted to kill me with just as little results."

"Yes, well you don't have your attack dogs to protect you now, do you? They were killed off by one of their own for something stupid."

"Oh shit," Nathaniel whispers, "Get her guns and get him out of the damn room before she skins him with her bullets."

"Can she actually do that?" Selene asks

"You don't want to see her prove it, Selene, just do it!" the Death Dealer snaps as he grabs her weapons.

"Hey, those are mine!" Natasha exclaims.

"I know that! You are NOT going to shoot Kraven, no matter HOW much of an idiot he is!" Nathaniel snarls.

"Give me my damn guns, Nathaniel, or I will kick YOUR ass, too!"

"I can't do that. You have to calm down. For once in your life, do what you are supposed to do and go visit your friends' graves. I know that this is NOT an easy time for you but you don't need to take out your rage on him."

Natasha's hazel-brown eyes darken to cobalt and she bears her fangs. "Not an easy time? NOT AN EASY TIME! Do you have ANY idea what I am going through? No, you don't so don't speak to me like you understand! Joseph was like my brother! You have no idea how much it hurts to lose someone you've known for years for NO FUCKING REASON!"

"Natasha, calm down," Kraven remarks obviously not taking heed of Selene's attempt to save his life.

She looks back at him with a look of such hatred that it makes him step backwards. "Go to hell," she spits at him.

"Kraven, before we have to reupholster the damn room, do as she says," Selene snaps at him.

"She needs to keep herself in check," the male responds irritably, "I don't think she realizes just how low down the totem pole she is."

Natasha goes to launch herself at him but is caught only two feet away. "I really don't think that is such a good idea," Michael says in her ear, "Leave Kraven alone. He's not worth it and it won't make you feel any better to have killed him."

"It'll make me feel better for long enough," Natasha responds.

"Let's go," Raze says suddenly startling her. She looks at the broad shouldered male in confusion.

"What?" she asks.

"Let's go," Raze repeats nodding towards the door.

"Where?"

Raze rolls his eyes before walking over and grabbing her gently by the arm before pulling her from the room and towards the front door. Natasha is too startled to react so she lets him drag her from the coven house. It isn't until they are standing outside the graveyard that she realizes just what he's talking about. "Oh," she says softly.

"Oh, she says," Raze mutters as he continues walking being careful not to step onto the graves.

"You don't need to be snide."

"I'm always snide, Natasha, it's who I am."

"Figures," she mutters, "I'd end up getting stuck with the sarcastic, trigger-happy, vicious son of a bitch."

"Thank you," Raze responds smugly.

"I wasn't complimenting you."

"Yes, you were, actually."

"How is what I said a compliment?"

"It's the truth after all."

"You're weird."

"So I've been told."

Natasha goes silent as she arrives at the grave. The picture, surprisingly, has remained there and is in perfect condition due to the frame. She sits between the two mounds and stares at them both. "Hello," she says softly, "It's been a year now. I still miss you guys so much. I always will you know. The stupid war is finally over if you can believe it. I don't really care though. I haven't cared about much since you guys died. Emotions are just too hard. Caring for people is too dangerous, I know that now. There is always a chance that you will lose them. However, having said that, I do not regret having known you two. I regret nothing of our friendships. I learned so much from you two. The only regret I carry is that you aren't here to see this." She goes silent for a minute and reaches up to wipe away the tears that are beginning to form. "There is so much I wish I had said to you guys before…but I guess regrets are useless now. I will probably miss you both forever, no I WILL miss you forever. I can only hope that the two of you are at peace and that you're together. Wait for me. I'll join you one day, but until then I'll live my life to the fullest, I promise. I won't do anything stupid because it gets too hard to cope. You two both have my words, I WILL go on. It may not always be easy and I may not always want to but I will do it."

She sits there silently for a moment before she looks back at Raze. The Lycan hasn't moved an inch and is silently observing her. "Did you ever meet them?" she asks.

Raze smiles slightly. "Yes, I had the pleasure of knowing them."

"Did they drive you crazy?"

"Worse, actually."

"Would you tell me some of your fonder memories?"

"I don't see why not," Raze murmurs as he moves beside her and looks at both graves, "If you thought Taylor and Pierce were obnoxious…Caleb and Joseph showed us what the definition of obnoxious was. At least Taylor and Pierce didn't constantly have sex in public."

"I didn't think those two were lovers."

"They aren't and I think that is the point."

"How many times did they have sex?"

"Seventeen."

Natasha finds herself smiling at that. "Figures," she murmurs.

Raze actually laughs. "It was always when I was having to patrol the sewers. They seemed to enjoy me walking upon them."

"Did you ever stop them?"

"And lose free porn? Not on your life."

"Oh, so you swing that way?"

"I'm bisexual…and they were hot together."

"I know."

"They hit on me constantly…though I don't think they were serious."

Natasha looks him up and down and seems to realize for the first time how masculine Raze is. She smiles slightly. "No, they probably weren't."

"Hey, I'm not THAT bad looking!"

"That's not why they weren't being serious, Raze. It's that you're too dominant. You're probably the sexiest muscular man ever to be born."

Raze looks at her curiously and she finds herself blushing. "I didn't mean…I was just…uh…"

"Uh huh, you were just saying?"

"Nothing, I wasn't saying anything."

"Yes, I think you were."

She scowls at him though she's far from actually meaning it. "You're obnoxious, Lycan."

"And you, vampire, are difficult to deal with."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Oh, I thought it was."

"Smart ass."

"Hard ass."

"Hard ass?"

"I couldn't think of anything else to call you."

"Dumbass."

"Dumb fuck."

"Hey, you don't know that!"

She looks at Raze incredulously. "You do realize that I am not being serious…don't you?"

"Of course, you're highly sarcastic, I know this."

"You do?"

"I know everything about you."

"What do you mean?"

"The other reason that I don't think they were being serious is that they thought I would be perfect for a certain female friend of theirs even though she was a vampire and I swore I'd kill every single one of them."

Natasha looks at him. "Th-they what?" she chokes out in disbelief.

"For some reason they thought you'd be perfect for me…I have no idea why. You seem just as psychotic."

"Oh, aren't you just prince charming! I am NOT psychotic!"

"So you say."

"Don't be mean."

"Or you'll do what, shoot me?"

"How about I neuter you?"

"Oooh, feisty!"

"Down boy!"

"Which one?"

Natasha stares at him, her mouth open in shock. "Y-you…you…"

"What? Has no man ever told you that you make them horny?"

"What the hell?" she demands.

Raze snorts. "You're cute."

"I can't believe we're having this sort of discussion in front of my friends' graves."

"You did promise to live life didn't you?"

"Yes, so?"

"Well, doesn't having fun with someone else count as living your life?"

Natasha looks at him. "Just what have my brothers told you about me?"

Raze smirks. "Enough."

"What do you mean enough?"

"Exactly what I said."

"Are you always this difficult?"

"Only when I want to be."

"You are aggravating."

"I know."

Natasha rolls her eyes before looking at the two graves. "You two have the sickest sense of humor," she mutters, "Why the body builder from hell? He's a walking carpet every full moon and I don't have a big enough lint roller to accommodate him!"

"I am standing here listening to you, you know."

"Oh, are you? I thought you'd left."

"Ha, ha, ha."

"I know, I'm a riot."

"Vain, too."

"Hardly. I have nothing to be vain about."

"Yep, there's the low self-esteem I've heard about from Joseph."

Natasha smiles mirthlessly. "So he has spoken to you at great length about me."

"Not about anything I really wanted to know. He wouldn't tell me your bra-size."

"Pervert!"

"Maybe but it's still the truth."

"It's a four D cup for your information." She snaps her mouth shut as soon as the words leave.

Raze snickers. "A quadruple D huh? I would have guessed that. You are certainly blessed."

Natasha flushes. "I cannot believe we are having this conversation in front of my brothers' graves."

"How many times have they had these sort of conversations in public? I mean, they practically gloat about what they do the night before."

Natasha smiles slightly. "You do have a very good point."

Raze smirks. "Good," he says before sitting beside her.

"Why is that good?" Natasha inquires wondering if she had dropped into an alternate universe.

"So, is there anything personal you want to ask about me since I inquired as to your bra size?"

"How big are you?" she asks before she can stop herself.

Raze's eyes twinkle. "Somehow I knew that was coming. Do you want know how big I am soft or hard?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to know how big I am when I am not aroused…or when I am?"

"Both…if that's okay with you."

"Twelve…and thirteen and a half."

She stares at him. "How does anyone fit you in their mouth?"

"No one has."

"Yet, you mean."

"Yes, yet."

Natasha tilts her head for a moment before looking at her friends' graves. She knows it would amuse them to know end to see what she was about to do and while it should make her feel sacrilegious, it doesn't. "Let's find out if I can change that, shall we?"

"What?" Raze asks seemingly confused.

Natasha gives him the very same smirk he used on her. "Let me show you," she says saucily, "It'll give Caleb and Joseph some free porn of their own."


End file.
